is wine microwaveable?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
