this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
