there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
