I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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