their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have aggressive nipples.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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