I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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