maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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