About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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