Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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