someone get that fucking seahorse.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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