Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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