How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
