The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
4 words: hood of his car
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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