Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
