Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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