Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
