it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize