My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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