I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
