man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
