On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
