ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
