do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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