im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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