what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
