I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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