i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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