Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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