you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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