My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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