And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
