Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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