she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't deserve a penis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
