OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize