Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've blown a few things in my day
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
