Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
