at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
