I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm at about main and main street
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
