im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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