I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
