Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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