Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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