I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i drank out of a bidet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
