Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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