idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
