But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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