i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
