there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
