Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
