To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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