i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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