He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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