We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
