is your mom at the bar?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
