New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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