I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
