We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
