you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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