I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You dont lie about slip and slides
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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