No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
