Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
