So drunk its hurt
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
