Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
