ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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