I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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