he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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